


The Cowardly Lion

by Colorfullyminded



Category: Remember Remember (Visual Novel), Remember Remember - Fandom
Genre: Ballsdeepforpeter, M/M, Michaela Laws, So be warned, Spoilers, Spoilers for Remember Remember, Visual Horror Novel, Warning as there might be some heavier subject matter in this story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 09:27:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11310513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Colorfullyminded/pseuds/Colorfullyminded
Summary: “Hey, who do you think our friends would be in the Wizard of Oz?”“I’m not sure...I never really thought about it. Who do you think they’d be?”"Well, Rosa would be Dorothy, obviously. Xavier fits the tin man, cause he lacks a heart. And Lisa doesn't make the best decisions, so I guess she'd be the scarecrow"“That just leaves the cowardly lion...but, which one of us would that be?”





	The Cowardly Lion

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've been playing this horror Visual Novel called "Remember, Remember", from creator's Michaela Laws who also made "Seduce me the Otome", for the last two days and it's really good. This game me a lot of stress in the beginning, but also a ton of feels and suspense once I got better at it, and realized I had to play it more than once. In the end, my experience went from good, to bad, to great! It was just a really fun game and wild experience. Worth it, even with the lag. 
> 
> My favorite character was Peter obviously. Such a good boy who didn't deserve anything bad honestly, but got it anyway. And so I basically wanted to write from his own perspective, about the events, and what happened after, and what might have been running though his head. 
> 
> Also, I just wanted to write some interactions between Kris, Sara, and Peter before the events leading to Remember Remember. I just wanted something cute you know. Before all the sad. Also, warning for spoilers, so if you haven't played the game, it's on sale right now until July 4 or 5, so I would highly suggest playing it, or at least watching someone play it. Because it's really good. But it has a lot of dark material and subject matter, so be careful, okay. And again, if you haven't seen or played Remember Remember, there are going to be spoilers for the game in here, so turn back now unless you don't care (but you'll still probably be confused).

_1 year before Sara’s kidnapping_

 

“Kris! I wanna play outside!” Sara tugged on the hem of her older brother’s hoodie, peering up at him with big, adoring eyes. Ever since she’d been allowed outside (so long as her big brother accompanied her) it was all she ever wanted to do. And since today was saturday, that meant he’d be home all day, which meant they could play all day!

 

Her brother stared back down, a soft frown on his face, but said, as gently as he could, “It’s raining Sara, we can’t go outside today. You’ll get sick and then you’ll have to stay in bed. That means you won’t be able to go outside for awhile, and you don’t want that, right?”

 

Sara’s eyes got even wider, and she quickly shook her head side to side, “No, I don’t wanna stay in bed! I wanna be able to go out and play with Kris!”

 

Finally smiling, after easily explaining the situation, he patted the top of her head, careful to avoid the purple ribbon she had put in her hair earlier. Her ash brown hair was a stricking contrast to his much darker shade of brown. “Exactly. It should only be raining today, and then we can play all day tomorrow, promise. And in the meantime, we can find things to do inside, so we can still have fun, even indoors.”

 

“Yeah?” she asked, in that innocent way that she always did.

 

“Yeah, of course!” Kris promised.

 

Just then, the doorbell rang, and Kris looked in the direction of the entryway, wondering who would be at the door, especially in this dreary downpour. He got up from his seat on the floor, and headed for the door, Sara trailing closely behind. He stopped at the door, hand on the knob, and stood on his tiptoes to stare into the peephole. He instantly recognized the golden brown hair on the other side of the door, perfectly styled in soft spikes, though they seemed a lot more limp. He quickly unlocked the door, and pulled it open, revealing his best friend Peter, dripping wet.

 

“Pete?! What are you doing here?”

 

His friend gave a nonchalant shrug, looking a bit pink in the cheeks, “I was bored. No one’s home right now; mom and dad are at work, and both my brother’s are staying over at their friend’s house. So I thought I’d drop by and see if you wanted to hang out.”

 

“You’re dripping wet? Where’s your umbrella?” Kris asked, stepping aside to let Peter come in. He closed the door and headed for the supply closet, pulling out a towel, and tossing it to the other.

 

Peter caught it effortlessly, beginning to dry his hair, but stopped to give Sara a wave hello before doing so. Sara grinned widely back at him, and waved, with even more enthusiasm. “I kind of forgot it. It’s not like our houses are far. It’s only a couple blocks. I thought if I ran, it wouldn’t be so bad, yknow?”

 

Kris rolled his eyes, heading for the stairs, “Idiot,” he mumbled, though it was still loud enough for Peter to catch and let out a playful ‘Hey!’ in response. Another roll of his eyes, Kris began to ascend the stairs, calling down, “I’ll grab you some spare clothes, just wait there and try not to drip too much on the carpet!”

 

“No promises!” was the answer that carried up. Kris chuckled; his friend really was a goof.

 

\--

Dried off, and in a fresh pair of clothes (courtesy of Kris who thankfully was only a couple inches shorter), they now stood in the dining room, Peter offering to make them lunch as thanks for letting him stay.

 

“Like I would send you back home in the rain. Stay as long as you like. You let your parents know you’re here though, right?” Kris said, half his body sticking out of the fridge as he scoured it for whatever ingredients Peter asked for. He was making them Omurice, as per request from Sara who was sitting at the table. Peter stood by the stove, whisking eggs. The scene seemed rather domestic.

 

“Course, I left them a message on their phones, so they wouldn’t freak out, coming home to an empty house. Even reminded them that the boys would also be gone, since they sometimes forget when we tell them we made plans.” He replied, putting down the bowl of whisked eggs, and moving to quickly cut up some onions and mushrooms for the rice. “Hey, got any chicken, or sausage?”

 

“I want hot dogs in it!” Sara said, lifting her fork up as she spoke. Then after a moment of thinking, she asked again, in a much softer inquiry, slowly lowering the fork, “Is...hot dogs okay?”

 

Peter turned to her and smiled, “Hot dogs sound great, Sara! Got any hot dogs, Kris?”

 

“Yeah, in the back. Gotta move the pickle jar, hang on.” He pushed aside the jar, and pulled out the packet of hot dogs, handing them to Kris who got to work cutting them up and adding them to the rice mix. Sara looked even happier, and seeing her happy, Kris felt himself grinning from ear to ear. He was glad to see her smiling, even though she was stuck indoors, something she hadn’t enjoyed in awhile (not that he blamed her). He wondered if it was because they had more company, which meant more friends to play with her. Kris didn’t mind, he was glad for the company too, especially if it was Peter.

 

“Since when did you learn to cook Omurice? That’s not really much of an ‘American Dish’,” Kris couldn’t help tease.

 

Peter stuck out his tongue at Kris, “I started learning after coming over all the time and seeing how much you guys loved it. It’s pretty easy to make, just an omelette stuffed with rice, not rocket science.”

 

“Still, It’s surprising that you learned the recipe. You didn’t do it just for me, did you?”

 

“No, I didn’t do it just for _you,_ Kris,” Peter teased back, though his cheeks were a few shades darker. “I wanted to expand my culinary talents, if you’re so curious to know. Since I’m in charge of feeding my brothers, I want to keep learning how to make more dishes for them, so that it doesn’t get stale. And something cheap and easy like this is perfect on my wallet, and filling enough to satisfy their growing appetites.” he admitted, and Kris felt warm affection for the other. It was clear that Peter cared for his younger brothers, just as much as he did for Sara. Maybe that was another reason they were so close. “And, just so you know, I learned more for Sara!” He added, winking at her as he said it, making her giggle.

 

“Yay! Thank you Peter. Does that mean you’ll make me Omurice whenever I want?”

 

Peter nodded, “So long as I’m here, you just have to ask.” He said, giving a semi bow, which sent her into another titter. Kris chuckled, feeling the calm serenity of the dining room scene wash over him, leaving the air light and warm, despite the chilly weather just outside. Yes, this was very domestic, he almost couldn’t help himself.

 

“Thanks Pete. You know, you’d make a real good wife, you just need the apron to complete this picture.” _Almost._

 

Peter seemed to get even redder at that, and fumbled with the spatula in his hand, “He-hey, shut the fu-----” He stopped mid sentence, looking over at Sara who tilted her head curiously, wondering what he was going to say, then back at Kris who was giving him an expression that said if he finished that sentence, he was going to get punched in the throat.

 

“Fuuuu-ridge! Shut the fridge, I got all the ingredients I needed,” he quickly amended.

 

Kris nodded both in approval, and in obedience, closing the fridge, and stepping towards to the kitchen counter. He leaned back against it, and then, when Sara had looked away, leaned towards Peter and whispered, “Nice Save!”

 

“S-shut up! It’s your fault!”

  
Kris chuckled, directing Sara’s attention back towards them. She then said, with another sweet, innocent smile on her face. “I bet Peter would make a great wife. Would that make big brother the husband? Oh, if so, can I play the baby?”

 

Kris felt his entire face heat up at the innocent comment, and he was sure, judging by how quickly Peter turned back towards the food, shoulders hunched, how equally embarrassed he was to hear that as well. But then, despite how hot his face felt, Kris couldn’t help but laugh again, even louder. And after a moment, he saw Peter’s shoulders bounce, and could hear his muffled snickers; the other boy joining in his mirth. Sara also began to giggle, though she didn’t quite know why, but the other’s laughter was infectious, and she wanted to be part of the fun too.

 

It was, very domestic.

 

\--

 

“Can we play hide and seek?!” After lunch, bellies full of egg and rice, Sara had asked this of them. The two older boys looked at her for a moment, than looked at each other.

 

“I’m fine with it? But, Peter’s our guest, so we have to make sure that’s something he wants to do. He might want to relax,” Kris tried to explain.

 

“Oh,” she tried to hide her disappointment, but it was evident on her round, 7 year old face.

 

Peter quickly shook his head, and jumped in to reassure her, “No way! Hide and seek sounds fun, I haven’t played that game in so long. This might be one of the few opportunities I have to play it again! I’m in!” Sara instantly brightened at that.

 

And so, after a quick game of rock paper scissors to determine who would hide and who would seek, Peter found himself trying to look for a suitable hiding spot before Kris reached 20. He was finding this task to be rather difficult as a 15 year old, who was much taller and bulkier now than when he as 8, giving him less opportunities for decent hiding spots. He was just entering Kris’s room, hearing the other boy’s voice from downstairs hit 15, when he heard a tiny voice whispering to him. “Peter, over here!”

 

He looked towards Kris’s closet, where Sara was peeking out, quickly ushering him to come inside. He heard Kris reach 20, calling out “ready or not, here I come” and made the decision, quickly tiptoeing inside the closet, and quietly pulling the door shut.

 

It was completely dark inside and it took his eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness. Eventually he was able to see the silhouette of Kris sister in front of him. “Nice hiding spot,” he praised, whispering so as not to be heard.

 

“Thank you,” came the quiet reply back, and even though he couldn’t see it, he could tell she was smiling. “Hopefully he won’t find us too soon. Kris is really good at hide and seek.”

 

“Well that’s good,” Peter said, then looked around the closet. It was hard to make anything out but shadows. “It’s really dark in here, you’re not scared are you?” he asked.

 

He saw her head swish side to side, “No. Because my knight will find me soon, so I don’t have to be scared.”

 

Peter felt his heart melt at her words. He liked that Sara saw Kris as her knight, especially since he felt Kris shared many noble, brave, and protective qualities. It seemed fitting that he would be a knight in her world.

 

“That’s right. And he’ll always come to save the princess,” he said.

 

It was silent for a moment, all that could be heard was the sound of footfalls from downstairs. Peter wondered how long it would take before he went searching upstairs and found them.

 

“Peter...do you like Kris?” The sudden question, snapped his from his reverie.

 

“Huh?” He found the question odd. “Of course I do, he’s my best friend!” He thought she knew that, had it not seemed like it?

 

“No I mean...do you _liiiike_ Kris?”

 

Huh? Oh…. _Oh….._

 

“T-that’s um….we-well….I mean….I don’t….ummm…” Peter didn’t know how to respond. _Where had that come from?_ He was glad she couldn’t see his face, cause he was sure he looked like a boiled lobster. He didn’t know if he should answer. How he should answer. _What_ he would answer. But even with all his stuttering, Sara just sat there patiently, waiting for his answer, calmly waiting for him. "W-why would you ask that?"

 

Sara didn't answer for a long minute, and the silence began to eat at him, causing him to fidget nervously. He couldn't help but wonder what could possibly be going through her mind, why she would even think to ask that. Had Kris said something to her? If so, what would he have said for her to ask him this? Or had he let something slip?

 

Then finally, she answered, "I don't know...but...you come over a lot. More than any of Kris's friends, even more than Rosa sometimes. And you always seem really really happy when you're here. And I think Kris gets really really happy too. You both seem...happy around each other."

 

 _Was that true?_ Peter knew he felt comfortable around Kris. Being around him made everything better; even on a shitty day, just having Kris next to him, made it somehow okay. But could the same be said for Kris? He was sure Kris was comfortable with him, but Kris seemed comfortable with everyone else too. Did they really spend so much time together? Was he really as special as Sara was claiming? He doubted it.

 

"Of course, that's because we're best friends Sara. That's all," he tried to explain.

 

But Sara wasn't having it. "Nooo!" she whined, surprising Peter with her sudden tone. "Nooo, it's not the same. I know it's different. It's different when it's Kris and Rosa. It's even different than with me and Kris." She admitted.

 

Peter's mouth fell open in shock, he couldn't believe Sara would even admit something like that. For her to even say that their closeness was different from her and her brother's, she must have noticed something, something more that Peter had obviously been trying to hide. Perhaps he had been too obvious. Or Sara was just a very clever girl.

 

For some reason, he felt like he couldn't lie anymore. He felt like if he did, it would only upset her, and he didn't want to do that, no matter how hard it felt admitting his crush to said crush's baby sister. He still didn't believe that Kris's affections were similar to his own, even if Sara said so; she was just misunderstanding. Kris only saw him as a friend, he was sure of that, but as for himself: “Um…Y-yeah...I guess I do like him...but don’t tell Kris, okay?”

 

“Why not?” Now she sounded confused. “If you like him, why don’t you tell him?”

 

“It’s not that easy Sara. It's complicated.”

 

"Why is it com-pli-cated?" She asked. He both loved, but also hated how genuine she could be. Ignorance was a blessing, but he couldn't help feeling it would get her in trouble one day.

 

 _Ugh! jeez._ "Well, it's because..." _I don’t think he likes me the way I like him. Actually, I'm sure he doesn't._  But he couldn't say that, Sara would immediately deny it. He tried to think of a suitable reason, one she would understand. “He’s a knight. He’s got other things to worry about, like protecting you, his princess. You are the most important thing in his life, he doesn't have room for someone like me to step in.” He said instead, hoping this would make sense to her.

 

It hadn't been a lie either; as far as he knew, Kris never seemed interested in romance, or dating. Even though they were in high school now, he was always more concerned with getting home so he could play with Sara for a few hours, rather than trying to get a girlfriend (or boyfriend, even?). No matter what, Sara would always come first, and Peter was more than happy to accept that. He wouldn't expect anything less, just like his brother's came even before Kris. It was just natural when having such a close familial bond. As for his feelings, they weren't important enough to bother Kris about, and Peter didn't mind. So long as Kris was happy. So long as he could be by Kris's side, even as just a friend. So long as he could play with Sara and Kris, he was perfectly happy with the way things were.

 

Because the knight's duty was to his princess. 

 

But he saw her head swish side to side again, “Nu-uh. The knight will always protect the princess. But the knight will also protects his friends! So, even if you think he won't...I know he will! Because the knight loves the princess, and the knight loves his friends. So that means the knight will always find and protect you, because he loves you too!”

 

Peter opened his mouth, unsure how to respond. For once, her sweet naivety made him only feel worse. He knew Kris cared about him, but he also knew there was no way that Kris loved him, in the way she was saying it. He was sure Kris “loved” him, but it was the same “love” that he had for all their friends. Honestly, if Kris were to love anyone, it was more likely to be someone actually worth his time, and beautiful to boot; someone like Rosa. Not someone like him.

 

**WAH-BAM!**

 

The closet door swung open, and the two inside jumped and screamed. On the other side of the door, Kris was grinning victoriously.

 

“Don’t you know that when you play hide and seek, you’re supposed to find different hiding spots? Anyway, doesn’t matter, I found you!”

 

Sara squealed, and ducked under Kris's outstretched arms, avoiding the onslaught of tickles he was trying to send her way. Peter sat, still inside the closet, watching the two chase each other inside Kris’s room, lost in thought. He wondered if Kris had heard what they were talking about? If he knew anything? Peter swallowed nervously, unsure he wanted to know the answer. But Kris wasn't giving Peter any odd looks, or avoiding his eyes altogether. Even when the other looked over at him, he didn't seem any different. He wasn't blushing, or frowning, or furrowing his eyebrows; there was no confusion, or hurt, or even disgust hidden in his eyes. No, he was smiling, that relaxed smile he always gave Peter; his eyes clear as day, "You coming Pete! Or you gonna hang in my closet all day? Can't be that comfy in there, it smells like dirty socks!" 

 

No, nothing had changed at all. Kris hadn't heard anything. "Yeah, yeah, I'm coming!" Peter sighed in relief, standing up and exiting the closet, quick to help Sara pin Kris to the bed and deliver a blow of revenge tickles. Everything was the same, as it had always been. As it was meant to be. 

 

Still, Peter thought back to Sara's words, right before the door opened, and Kris's words that followed after.

 

_“I found you!”_

 

_The knight had found him, as Sara had said. Was it true? Would the knight protect him too?_

 

\---

They were sitting on the couch, later that evening, watching the Wizard of Oz that was playing on TV. Sara had fallen asleep, using Kris's lap as a pillow. The two remaining awake watched the TV with lazy contentment, feeling their own eyelids heavy with the weight of encroaching sleep.

 

“Hey, who do you think our friends would be in the Wizard of Oz?” Peter asked, suppressing a yawn.

 

“I’m not sure...I never really thought about it,” Kris mulled it over, absentmindedly petting his sister’s hair as he thought. “Who do you think they’d be?”

 

“Um...well, Rosa would definitely be Dorothy. You know, cause she’s so sweet and innocent, and she’s got that curious nature about her, wanting to always broaden her horizons, but also being faithful to her family and her home.”

 

“Makes sense!”

 

“And Xavier...well, I can’t really see him as a cowardly lion, and he’s too smart to be the scarecrow, either. He’d probably be the tin man, you know, cause the Tin Man lacks a heart, and sometimes Xavier can be a real jerk, especially those times I’ve caught him high. He gets like, really mean and says a bunch of shitty stuff. Though, deep down, I know that he’s a good friend, and that he cares for all of us. But don’t tell him I said that, or he’ll never let me hear the end of it!”

 

“Also understandable.” Kris said, letting his eyes fall closed. At first Peter thought he had fallen asleep, but then he said, after a moment, “Lisa isn’t a coward. She can be almost too brave, to the point of being defiant. If I had to say though, she doesn’t always think through her ideas. When something distracts her, or gets in her way, she doesn’t always make the best decisions. So I guess she’d be the scarecrow.”

 

“That just leaves the cowardly lion...but, which one of us would that be?” Peter asked.

 

Neither one answered, and after a moment, they fell back into companionable silence. So much so, that Peter felt his head bobbing, trying to keep itself up, but sleep ultimately winning this battle.

 

“Hey, if you want, I have a free shoulder, perfect for leaning on. You can use it, if you want to.” Peter didn’t even think twice about it, curling up on Kris other side, the gently singing from the tv lulling them both to sleep, the prior conversation forgotten.

 

~~~

_March 14, 2012, 10:20 pm_

 

He saw her hair, swishing in the cold, spring wind, contrasting to the almost pitch black of the hour. As she walked, holding hands with a much larger gentlemen, she passed under a streetlight, and her hair gave off a golden, halo like glow. Her light, ash brown hair that reached all the way down her back, fluttering in the wind as the man hastily led her to his car. He recognized that hair anywhere!

 

_Sara? What was she doing? Where was she going? Who was that person leading her to their car? Where was Kris? She wouldn’t be outside the house without Kris! Did Kris even realize she was outside yet? Did he know?_

 

“Dad, I have to call you back….that can’t be…” he quickly hung up the phone and got out of his car, just as the man was ushering her into the backseat. He took a few steps forward, shoes crunching on loose gravel. “Hey! S-Sar--”

 

The man turned around, and Peter saw himself staring down the barrel of a gun. His whole body froze.

 

_What?_

 

The man slammed the door shut before Sara could even see who had cried out to her. “Move and I’ll put one between your eyes,” The mechanical voice said, and Peter felt a horrible chill run down his spine. He couldn’t see much of the man’s face, shadowed by his baseball cap, but the look in his eyes was similar to that of a dead fish. So cold, so unfeeling. Staring at him, watching him; Peter felt like he was being stripped naked by that look alone.

 

Then the man backed toward the driver seat, gun still pointed towards him, unflinching. The fact that his arm was completely steady, scared Peter more than anything; it meant that he knew how to use it, and that he would not miss if he fired. In that moment, fear overcame all other responses. He couldn’t move, couldn’t think, even his throat constricted, making it impossible to breath. No matter how much his heart screamed to do something! Save her! _Save her save her SAVE HER DAMNIT!!!_ His body refused to act. He could do nothing but watch the man get in his car, and drive away, with Sara inside. Take his best friend’s little sister away, an innocent child away. And God forbid, what he would do to her once he was far enough away.

 

And Peter did nothing but watch.

 

When the car was out of sight, he crumpled to his knees, heaving for air. He began frantically digging through his pockets, trying to locate his phone. When he found it, he dialed 911, trying to stumble through his description of what he saw. But his mind went blank. He couldn’t remember anything of the man, not even the license plate.

 

All he could remember was that silver gun, pointed right at his face. 

 

And eventually, he heard the operator on the other line complaining about “damn prank callers” before the line went dead. The cell phone slipped from his fingers and landed with a hard plop on the cement. His breathing was uncontrollably shaky, and his heart was still pounding frantically, ready to burst from his chest. Any second, he was expecting to feel cold steel enter through his skull, and hot searing pain. But all he felt was the numbing bite of the cold.

 

_And the shame of his own cowardice._

 

~~~

 

It had been a month, and no sign of Sara. Peter had tried looking on his own, but had come up every night empty handed. Driving hours upon hours, searching the street, trying to remember anything about the car that man had taken her in, even just the color. Or what the man looked like, even the smallest detail. But that only served to drive him more to paranoia, questioning every car he saw, every older man who stepped out of one, especially if they were walking near or with a child. Right after school, he'd get in his car and drive, trying, trying to find any signs of her, until his phone went off and his mother, or one of his brother's begged him to come home. Time always escaped him, and when he hung up, he found that it was nearing midnight. Defeated, he'd have no choice but to return home, and spend the last remaining hours until morning tossing and turning, unable to sleep. This caused his grades to slip, and his mood to become incredibly volatile, worrying both his teacher's and family alike. They figured it was because he was worried about Kris, that that's where he spent all his time, comforting Kris with the recent tragedy. But they didn't know the truth. They didn't know what he had done.

 

And the more time that passed, the more fearful Peter became. It was even worse, seeing his once confident best friend, looking absolutely destroyed by her disappearance. Rumpled clothes, bloodshot eyes, heavy bags, pale, sunken in expression. Kris was the ghost of his former self.

 

And it was all Peter’s fault. 

 

They were in Kris's room, trying to study, trying to form some semblance of normalcy. But Kris's eyes were on the phone far more than his books. And Peter felt no desire to study, guilt eating him from the inside out. He was in their house, _in their house_ , pretending everything was normal, knowing the truth. Knowing what he’d seen. And he hadn’t even come forward and told Kris, his best friend. He felt so ashamed, so sick and disgusted with himself. He couldn’t keep doing this. He didn’t deserve to be here, comforting Kris, trying to make him feel better, when he was the cause of his sister’s disappearance.

 

“Do you think…?” Kris's voice had been so quiet, Peter had to strain to hear. Kris’s gaze was still on the landline, waiting for a call, waiting to hear that she had been found, that Sara was safe.

 

“Do I think what?” Peter didn’t want to hear the end of that sentence. He didn’t want to talk about this. But it wasn’t fair; he owed Kris that much, at least.

 

“It’s been a month Pete, and no sign of her. Nobody can find her, nobody even saw where she went. The police have nothing! My family is falling apart, my mother is sinking into depression, and the police are trying to tell us to keep FUCKING calm, and keep going on with our days, like everything's fine! Meanwhile Sara’s still missing, she’s still gone...and what if…Do you think she’s even still alive Pete?” Kris’s voice breaks. He’s choking on sobs, the tears pushing against the corners of his eyes, fighting to break out.

 

Kris might as well have punched him in the gut, because all the air escapes his lungs. All the pain Kris is going through, Peter can't even begin to imagine how much this is hurting Kris. His own feelings are nothing compared to Kris's.

 

"It's all my fault Pete, I wasn't watching her! She would have been fine, if I had just been watching her! I'm a failure! I'm a failure as a brother! It's all my fault!"

 

He can't stand this, can't watch Kris take the blame, not when the guilty one, is sitting right in front of him. He has to say it. He can’t keep it a secret anymore. He has to tell Kris what he knows.  

 

“Kris, I need to tell you something. I know you aren't going to want to hear it, but I can't be silent anymore! I want to tell you--”

 

But when Kris looked at him, with his teary, heartbroken gaze, it was like looking back into the barrel of that gun, on that night.

 

But somehow, it's even more frightening.

 

**_HOW COULD YOU! YOU SAW HER! YOU SAW HER THAT NIGHT AND YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED IT!_ **

 

All he can see is Kris's betrayed expression, eyes turning from sadness, to confusion, to hate. Kris screaming at him, blaming him.

 

_**YOU DIDN’T HELP HER! SHE NEEDED YOU, AND YOU JUST STOOD BY AND WATCHED HER GET TAKEN AWAY!** _

 

_No…_

 

_**HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HER? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? I THOUGHT YOU CARED ABOUT US PETE!** _

 

_I do...Kris, you have no idea how much I care about you! How much I care about Sara!_

 

_**If YOU REALLY CARED YOU WOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING! YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED HIM! WHY DIDN’T YOU STOP HIM?!** _

 

_I…i was…i was scared…_

_**COWARD! YOU COWARD! YOU HORRIBLE, SPINELESS, USELESS COWARD!** _

 

_Stop it..._

 

_**THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!** _

 

_NO!_

 

_**I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!** _

 

_Don’t…Kris, don’t say that…_

 

_**I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU PETER! YOU FUCKING COWARD!** _

 

Peter felt his body freeze once more; stuck, unable to move, unable to speak, feeling once more useless...worthless…

 

_Helpless…_

 

“Peter?”

 

He would take this secret, his shame, to the grave.

 

On the outside, he would support Kris no matter what, and continue to hold on to hope that Sara would be found, and brought back home and everything would be okay. He would be the best friend Kris needed, as he always had been. Even though inside he knew the truth of what he'd done; it would be a constant reminder, when he woke up in a cold panic, the image of that gun burned into his mind forever. But outside, he would rather bury the truth, hide it from Kris with his life, so long as it meant he could keep being his friend. Being by his side. Just like always, just like nothing had changed.

 

He couldn't lose Kris too. He couldn't lose him. Even if it meant he had to be a... 

 

Peter swallowed, feeling his own eyes wet with tears. He opened his mouth, but the words he should have said didn’t come out. Instead, his cowardice spoke for him: “We’re going to find her Kris. She’s going to be okay! Okay? And I’m going to be here with you until the we find her. Kris, I promise. No matter what, I’ll be here for you! You understand? I’m always going to be here for you Kris! We’re going to find whoever took her, and they’re going to pay for what they did! And when she’s back, I’ll make you both Omurice as many times as you want! Until you’re fucking sick of it! Okay?!? But until then, you can’t give up hope. You have to keep being strong. For Sara, Kris. Your have to be brave for her now, like I’m sure she’s being brave wherever she is. You’re her knight...You’re going to find her Kris, just like you always do. You just have to be strong, and keep going, even when it’s scary. You have to be brave.”

 

And Peter lost it. He threw his arms around Kris and pulled him to his chest, holding him as tightly as he could. He felt the front of his shirt quickly growing damp with tears, and his body shook from Kris’s convulsions as the other boy sobbed into his chest. Peter bit his lip until he tasted blood, tears of sadness, and anger, and guilt streaking down his cheeks. He pressed his face into Kris’ hair, his hand trying to rub soothing patterns into the other’s back, even when they shook with the weight of his deception. It didn’t matter though, because Kris needed _this_ right now, more than he was probably willing to admit, and as much as it pained him, hating himself each and every time, Peter felt somewhat joyous that he could be the one to provide this comfort to Kris. Even though he didn’t deserve to be the one. Even though he was a liar, pretending to be innocent, when he was guilty; when her blood was on his hands. Even though he was a coward.  

 

“You’re her knight Kris, you’ll find her. Just keep being brave, you have to be brave.”

 

_Because I wasn't._

**Author's Note:**

> (BallsDeepForPeter)
> 
> ((I've edited this a few times, adding stuff in between, though I don't think anyone's noticed since no one but me has read it yet. But yeah, I've added things since I first posted it. Also, in the beginning, I had Sara mention all Kris's friends by name, but from the context clues in RR, it seems that Sara only really knew who Rosa and Peter were, so I had to change that)).


End file.
